I'm Tired of Being Your Secret
by wet-with-salgaytion
Summary: "This. Us. The sneaking around in the middle of the night, meeting at the room of requirement. Not exactly romantic, telling everyone I'm going to see Slughorn, just so I can get a hushed, rushed and flushed few hours with you. I want...I don't know...something more".


"What time is it?" Draco asked, stroking the messy black-haired boy's outstretched arm, entranced in its seamless connection to his bare torso. Harry Potter sat up, picked up his glasses from the bedside table and placed them onto his face, pushing his hair away from his eyes. He looked at his watch.  
"Almost two." Harry responded, yawning and leaning back into Draco Malfoy, who had rolled onto his side to follow the warmth that Harry brought him in the brief time that they shared into the late hours of the night. His arms were spread across the whole of the back of the double bed that the room of requirement had conjured up for them. Harry nuzzled into Draco's naked shoulder, kissing the bare skin lightly.  
"Potter?" Draco asked after a moment of peace between them.  
"Yeah?"  
"How long is this going to go on for?"  
"What?"  
"This. Us. The sneaking around in the middle of the night, meeting at the room of requirement. Not exactly romantic, telling everyone I'm going to see Slughorn, just so I can get a hushed, rushed and flushed few hours with you. I want...I don't know...something more".  
"Hushed, rushed and flushed?" Harry asked with a smirk. Draco nudged his shoulder before giving him a serious look. The words that he had said suddenly then sunk into Harry's head.  
"Wait, what are you saying?" Asked Harry, sitting up now, in disbelief that Draco could possibly want to be open to other people about their relationship  
Draco, now cross legged sitting opposite Harry, shuffled closer to the boy he had begun to fall for, taking his hands in his own.  
"I have spent my whole life trying to impress everyone. My father, my mother, everyone in this damn school. I finally have something worth showing off and I'm, what? Hiding it away like a dirty secret? I want to walk to breakfast holding your hand, and kiss you before I destroy you in Quidditch, without having to worry about who might see, or what people will think if I even talk to you in the corridor. I want to drink butterbeer at the same damn table, instead of feeding off stolen glances across rooms, offering to get the next round just so that we can have those few fleeting moments of disguised contact at the bar. I want your friends to hate me because they're scared I'm going to hurt you, not because they think you hate me too. I want you Potter." Draco exclaimed putting his hand to Harry's cheek. "I want us."  
Harry looked into Draco eyes, and he saw all of their secret nights together, all of their stolen looks across rooms. He saw the first time Draco came to him, struggling with the aftermath of Lord Voldemort, he saw their first kiss, hidden in the back of the library, he saw the first time they came to the room of requirement, Draco walking backwards, lips locked to Harry's, who was guiding the way, with one eye open to make sure they made it inside the room successfully. He saw all of the longing, and all of the loss, and all of the _love_. And he saw the possibility of a future together. A future where they could live freely without worrying who saw.

Harry took his hand to meet Draco's on his cheek, bringing it round to his lips, where he held it tightly, closing his eyes to hold the moment of freedom. For so long he had ached to feel the hands of the blonde-haired boy that sneered at him across the room, and now that he had it he had to keep it a secret. Harry's thoughts turned to Draco's parents. To Molly and Narcissa, who would somehow have to come to terms with one another, and how difficult it would all be and how much stress it would be for the Weasley's who had been the only true home he had known. The only place aside from Draco's arms where he had ever felt truly safe.  
"I wish it could be that simple." Harry said, lowering Draco's hand to the rumpled sheets that lay between them.  
"It could be", pleaded Draco, who could only imagine two years into the future, huddled next to Harry at Christmas, everyone round the fire, with his very own knitted jumper, a green 'D' lovingly embroidered to the centre; a sign of acceptance from the people that held such an enmity in Harry's heart.  
But Harry was more concerned. He was concerned about explaining to everyone, he was concerned about the reaction Draco would get from his 'mates', he was concerned about how his own best friends would take it. And so, the next words that Harry spoke pierced Draco like an excellently executed cruciatus curse.  
"Could it?"

It was approaching 11pm in the eighth year common room, and Harry, Ron and Hermione sat at a table by the fire together, finishing off their work. Harry and Ron were writing a tedious essay on the intentions and dangers of the draught of living death that was due in the following day. Hermione was scanning through her arithmancy homework that was due in the following week. So far Harry had written _"The Draught of Living Death is a potion that has many positive intentions and outcomes, but also dangers. Some of it's intentions are-"._ He looked up from his paper and saw Draco Malfoy sat at a table on the other side of the common room. Malfoy was looking at him with the same look that Harry had no doubt that he was looking at him with. Longing. The two of them just stared at each other for a moment, both with sad looks in their eyes. Following their conversation from the previous night, there was now a whole new dynamic between them. Now that he knew that Malfoy felt the same way as him about their relationship being kept a secret, he felt something else between them. Something almost like regret. The only ones left in the common room other than them were Ron and Hermione, but they were entirely oblivious to the fact that Draco and Harry wanted to be left alone. After a moment, Harry tore his gaze away from Malfoy and looked toward Ron and Hermione. They were sat closely together on the sofa, and Harry watched as Ron groaned and rested his head on Hermione's shoulder.  
"Hermione," he said in a whine. "I can't do it!" Hermione turned to him and kissed his head.  
"Yes you can, Ronald," She said, resting her cheek on his bright red hair. "Come on, write something." She picked up his quill and placed it into his hand, closing his fist around it. He looked at her with a look that said _how did I get this lucky?_ He leaned across to kiss her lips briefly, before the two of them got back to work.  
Harry couldn't help but feel jealous of them. They could so openly be happy in their relationship, without having to hide anything from anyone. Harry looked back over to Draco, and saw him looking at Ron and Hermione too before looking back toward Harry. The two of them smiled sadly at each other before Draco looked back down at his book, clearly not reading a word of it. But Harry's gaze didn't fall. He couldn't bring himself to look away from the way that Draco's delicate fingers caressed the corner of the page, or the way his tie was set so precisely to the centre of his chest. Then he thought back to room of requirement, and how many times he had pulled the tie from around Draco's neck, and how he had kissed that neck, and how safe he had felt in those moments. Harry's friends had given him so much over the years, but Draco had provided him with something he had never felt. A feeling that could not be brought to justice through words.  
"Guys." Harry said suddenly, loudly enough for Draco to hear too, who looked up from his book in surprise. Ron and Hermione looked up, and Hermione's face looked worried.  
"What is it, Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked, her face paling, her eyes instinctively flicking to the faded scar, just visible through Harry's tufts of hair.  
"Oh, yeah! No it's fine, it's nothing like that." The look of relief on Hermione's face was bright as day, but Ron just chuckled.  
"Hermione, he literally said 'guys', I don't think that calls for such a dramatic response." Harry heard Draco snigger slightly at Ron's comment. Hermione rolled her eyes, but still looked relieved.  
"What is it, then?" She asked, and the two of them looked at Harry expectantly. Harry looked over towards Draco, who stared back. After a moment, Harry stood up and walked over to him, all the while Ron and Hermione watched him, confused. As Harry made his way over, Draco stood up. He opened his mouth to ask what Harry was doing, but Harry just reached out to hold Draco's face, and kissed him. Malfoy froze in shock for a moment before kissing back, the large book slipping between his fingers and hitting the hard wooden floor as Draco's fingers intertwined with Harry's. After a moment, Draco pulled back, and turned to Ron and Hermione.  
"Surprise." He said in a half-amused, half-worried tone. Harry laughed and pulled back, turning to face his best friends. Hermione and Ron sat on the sofa, faces entirely shocked.  
"Look, I know this is totally out of the blue, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't know how you'd take it. I guess I'm about to find out." Harry winced, clutching Draco's hand even tighter. Draco chuckled lightly next to Harry.  
"Look Harry, I'm just glad you're happy," Hermione said finally, beginning to smile. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy." She got up to hug Harry as his face broke into a grin. He let go of Draco's hand as he went to Hermione to hug her. When she went to sit back down she nudged Ron, prompting him to say something.  
"Bloody hell," Ron said, his face still staring into nothingness, an expression of shock and confusion on his face. Hermione wacked his head playfully, but still with a fierceness that threatened him if he said something stupid that would wreck his best friendship. Harry went back to Malfoy, and took his hand again. "No no, I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy for you mate! But," He paused, shaking his head. "Bloody hell." Harry laughed as Ron put his hands to his head, clearly recalculating many memories. "How long has this been… how long have you guys… how long is this-"  
"I think what Ron is trying to say is how long has this been going on? And how? And _when_?" Hermione finished for Ron.  
"A few weeks after the final battle. Draco came to me because he knew I'd understand how it feels being under the threat of the dark lord and-"  
"Uhm, Potter, can we _not_ ruin my reputation please?" Draco said.  
"Yeah, says the guy, _holding my hand_." Harry responded and Draco immediately let go and wacked his head, the same way Hermione had done to Ron. Harry dodged and laughed, and Draco laughed with him. Hermione smiled at them, almost amused, whilst Ron just continued to look on in shock and confusion.  
"Anyone else need a firewhisky?" He said, and Harry and Hermione laughed. They both immediately agreed to go, but Draco didn't say anything. Hermione immediately noticed his unease.  
"You coming Malfoy?" Hermione challenged, inviting Draco to join them despite the torments he had put her through. After all, if Harry had been able to put everything aside, then perhaps she could learn to tolerate him. "First rounds on you" she ordered while packing her things into her bag, before standing to look Draco square in the eye. Draco's grip tightened on Harry's, Harry's eyes darting to Ron in fear and apprehension, who looked just as apprehensive. They both knew how ruthless Hermione could be when it came to something, or someone she cared about. She looked at Malfoy with a glare that neither of them had seen before. It wasn't anger, yet it wasn't forgiveness. It seemed to emulate a combination of the two, with just enough intrigue to keep both Harry and Draco on edge. Unsure as to whether his girlfriend was going to hug Draco or punch him, which admittedly he would not mind seeing, Ron put a hand on her shoulder. At his touch, she relaxed slightly.  
"Come on then. Suppose we'd better hear how this all came about." exclaimed Hermione, taking Ron's hand as they began to walk through the corridors, the warmth of the firewhiskies pulling them towards Hogsmeade.


End file.
